


Jar of Hearts

by thewriterpoe



Category: SHINee
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 08:18:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13677855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewriterpoe/pseuds/thewriterpoe
Summary: Because there it was, the real miracle of their continued friendship; the reason they could hang out with Jonghyun’s new boyfriend, the reason Kibum could say he was happy for him and mean it. All the feelings he couldn’t remember were sealed in a jar of gardenias.





	Jar of Hearts

      It was weird, Kibum thought. Jonghyun had been the love of his life and yet he was finding it hard to remember what it felt like before. He must have gotten comfortable with the empty spaces left behind, he mused; watching Jonghyun’s eyes crinkle in that adorable way of his, surprised about the fullness of his breath. _Guess time does heal the past._ The operation also helped. He looked the same, meaning he looed heartachingly good and maybe time was a little bit of a bastard.

      “You see, I am close with famous people,” Jonghyun was boasting to his boyfriend who scowled but in playful answer to the fond and doting ruffle of his hair. Taemin. Kibum remembered from the intensely awkward introduction where he froze when Jonghyun ran his hand through his freshly bleached hair.  

      Taemin was different from him, Kibum noted and maybe that was the appeal. He was also younger and free spirited – one had to be to wear those hairy shoes that were all the rage. But more than that, he was different from how Jonghyun described him: careful, watchful; and Kibum wondered just how much Jonghyun had told him about them. It couldn’t have been easy meeting the ghosts of lovers’ past and so Kibum was doing his best meet those intermittent wary glances with a curious mix of warmth and frivolity.

      “Would you like a preview of the collection before it opens tomorrow night?” Kibum offered. Jonghyun had wanted to impress Taemin and he said he would help.

      Taemin’s face broke out in the most glorious expression of wonder and joy, and Kibum suddenly understood the appeal. He could never smile like that.

      Thank you, Jonghyun mouthed to him, his gaze passing Kibum’s like two ships in the night. He was always thanking Kibum with a crocked smile and soft eyes, and it always felt like he was apologizing.

      “I’d offer wine,” Kibum continued, “But it’s eleven o’clock on a Tuesday morning, so coffee will have to do.” He led them across the foyer through a nondescript door. Where the gallery opened to the left, Kibum made a right to go prepare two cappuccinos.

      “That wasn’t too bad,” Kibum said to himself, delicately returning a loose strand of hair in place as he waited for the Keurig fill his workshop with subtle hints of a confectionary coffee shop. He laughed at himself for fussing over his outfit – all white with blue suede shoes – and his inventory of mixed feeling about the reunion. He was as he ought to have been – civil and gracious. It wasn’t that the break up had been bad – as far as break ups went it was average, unexpected, and unbearably painful. But one got over these things - his eyes fell on the jar at the top of his bookshelf – one way or another. And he could watch Jonghyun’s face with passing curiosity, how tender he looked, when he kissed Taemin, and wonder if that was the same look he had when they used to kiss all those years ago.

      “So,” Kibum approached them with brisk steps, his palms almost scalding from the coffee he was carrying. “What do you think?” Their fingers brushed when Jonghyun took the mugs from him and it seemed to Kibum that his skin tingled at the point of contact.

      “This one’s my favorite,” Taemin answered, directing their gaze to the greyscale cityscape in front of them. “I’ve recently gotten into monotones.” He was holding his mug with both hands, sipping tentatively. It reminded Kibum of the winter he and Jonghyun were snowed in his apartment and they had to share the last sachet of marshmallow hot chocolate, Jonghyun gripping the mug tightly because he didn’t trust Kibum to only take two sips at a time. They fucked in the pillow fort they’d constructed that night. Their first time together like that.

      “Right,” Kibum smiled, shaking the memory – it seemed so long ago. “Jonghyun tells me you’re working on a piece for the Art Institute’s Summer Series.”

      Taemin ducked his head, embarrassed. “Oh God! It’s nothing to talk about, trust me.”

      Kibum smiled at Jonghyun’s look of disapproval at Taemin’s self-deprivation. “That’s not how Jonghyun puts it.”

      Taemin blushed, making faces at Jonghyun who returned the gesture. “Really?” Taemin replied, suddenly remembering he was in the presence of a world-renowned artist. “What else does Jonghyun say about me?”

       _That he’s the happiest he’s ever been with you_ , but Kibum didn’t say this. Instead, “That in three years you could surpass even me.”

      Taemin didn’t think this was a compliment or rather was a compliment he was worthy of and went on the tell Kibum about how Jonghyun always exaggerated everything good about the people he cared about. As though Kibum didn’t know that already.

      “But why not?” Kibum asked, his head cocked to the side. It was curious and genuine because Taemin _had_ surpassed him in Jonghyun’s affections why not in talent.

      Taemin was saved from answering by an incoming call for Kibum. From the snippets of conversation and apologetic turn on Kibum’s demeanor, it looked like the visit was at its end. But that was the miracle to Jonghyun’s and Kibum’s continuing friendship – frequent and interrupted visits that were never long enough to slip on nostalgia. And most of the time it wasn’t planned. But before they left, Kibum wanted to give them tickets to the opening show. It would only be a moment while he went to his workshop to fetch them.

      “That’s an interesting arrangement,” Taemin commented on the flower in the jar on the bookshelf.

      Kibum hadn’t expected them to following him. He was very particular about people in his work space and maintaining an air of mystery around his creative process. Without meaning to, he looked at Jonghyun and Jonghyun, meaning to, met his gaze.  Because there it was, the real miracle of their continued friendship; the reason they could hang out with Jonghyun’s new boyfriend, the reason Kibum could say he was happy for him and mean it. All the feelings he couldn’t remember were sealed in a jar of gardenias.


End file.
